nsfwjynx:

nottheoneicheckatwork:

kalynnemarie:

BREAKING NEWS: if you ever judge anyone based on the number of sexual partners they’ve had, you’re a complete imbecile.

I beg to differ.

If someone has had more than one hundred thousand sexual partners I will absolutely judge them because that is impressive as hell.

I was expecting that to go somewhere else than it did and I’m pleased with the ending

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How the biggest coaches approach the transfer market
Louis Van Gaal: *buys entire new squad, minus defenders*
Diego Simeone: I'll take him on loan, & him on loan, & oh yeah, this guy too. *gets into random fight*
Carlo Ancelotti: My squad is set, I don't need-- *Perez crashes through glass ceiling* "Hey Carlo, soooo I was out with some chicas & long story short I got us a new striker"
Jose Mourinho: Welcome our new player, he's 50, I coached him once 20 years ago.
Brendan Rogers: Have you never heard of him & is he under 24? Perfect.
Pep Guardiola: Buy a defender? This is just a concept of a small mind, we can all be defenders. Just watch, I will take this forward and convert him to defender.
Klopp: Go ahead, take my guys, idgaf, I'll just get new ones, I will never die, thiS. IS. SPARTA!!!!!
Arsene Wenger: hmmm...
Arsene Wenger:
Arsene Wenger: I mean he's not even French...
Arsene Wenger:
Arsene Wenger: *sighs*
Arsene Wenger:
Arsene Wenger: Okay, maybe-- *transfer period is closed* oh thank god
  #true tho
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